There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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