Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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