Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize