You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
