Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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