Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
