i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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