Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She said her name was "party"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
