Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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