I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Soap is not a condiment
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
