like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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