"it" just moved
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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