I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
how does that bad decision feel?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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