the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
