Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
