i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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