Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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