I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
