Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
