i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
