She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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