Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
