All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
