he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
