problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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