Me too!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
