my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize