I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
