mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
