that's an acceptable place to lick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
How external is "for external use only"?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
