I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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