M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
