Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
