Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
