I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My dick has a subreddit
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
