I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
wow bdsm is so cute
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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