bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
