i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
