So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
