is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Drunk is not a location!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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