David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
