Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
