is your mom at the bar?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
