i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize