Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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