So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just had sex on a roof
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
