Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
