I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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