I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
