i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
