I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
