dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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