in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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