some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
