Your face is a jimmy john
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
