I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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