He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
