I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I believe in your delicious
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