Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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