He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize