I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
